Thoughts of a Stud

(Source: rulesformyunbornson)

A 58-year-old man in Sweden is feeling like a dope after getting busted trying to buy marijuana.

However, police in Gavle, Sweden, let the man go after discovering that the bag of grass he bought was literally a bag of real grass. Oh, and some bark,TheLocal.se reported.

Security guards tipped off officers who interrupted the deal as it was taken place, but, according to the Swedish news agency TT, the seller fled before he could be apprehended.

Initially, the 58-year-old thought he had negotiated a rock-bottom price for his purchase, having haggled the price of the grass from $62 down to a mere $15.

Of course, there was a good reason.

Peter Hultqvist, duty officer with the Gavleborg police, said a thorough investigation of the counterfeit cannabis revealed that it was perfectly legal garden-variety grass with a few bits of bark, according to UPI.

But while the baby boomer bonghead wasn’t charged with a crime, police spokesman Mikael Hedstrom said the man’s actions are still considered criminal under Swedish law. ”Imagine that you order 10 kilos of amphetamine but receive common flour. You still tried to purchase narcotics so you can still be charged with an attempted drug offense,” Hedstrom said.

And they say kids should respect their elders. HA. Even when I was just a young punk 9th grader I knew the difference between weed and actual grass. What an amateur. First of all, the whole weird number price of 62 dollars should have been a cue that this wasn’t good. This dumb stoner thought he was the Negotiator from Priceline and got the clever guy to give him a 75% off coupon and get this schwag ass shit for 15. Hell yeah right? Wrong. Out of nowhere security guards sprint to the crime scene like Martin Lawrence in National Security. And when they get there they realize they can’t do shit except call the real cops. While thats happening the smart dealer guy flees while this guy is just standing there waiting to be arrested admiring the super dank shit he just got for cheap as fuck. Second wrong move. Officer Peter Hultqvist does his whole Swedish Sherlock Holmes routine and basically tells this guy he’s stupid and just purchased the same grass his Poodle takes shits on day to day.

Heres where the story gets weird though. This guy just gave away 15 dollars and all he has to show for it is a police investigation, some lawn trimmings, and clear eyes because he’s sober as an ox and the police still want to charge him?!? Are you kidding me? If I called my dealer, purchased and got caught then kudos police officers you have a charge on your hands. But if i call my dealer and he says he out and an officer says I’m breaking a law I’m gonna call shenanigans. Between all the nude beaches and hot bitches in Sweden why would they waste all the paperwork necessary to lock up this guy? Call the guy a dumb-ass, grab another bag of Swedish fish and go on with your day.

-KBONE

A Chili’s in Longmont may be in hot water after mistakenly serving three children alcohol on Independence Day. Pam Bruenning, the mother of the children, said they stopped at the restaurant to cool off before the fireworks show and ordered three fruit smoothies.

After her children, ages 8, 6, and 1, had some of the beverage, her 8-year old complained about the taste. When Bruenning tasted the drink, she found it contained tequila.

A police report on the incident indicates a communication error between the server who took the order and the bartender is likely to blame. The order was entered into the system with the note “see server.” The server instructed the bartender to distribute the drink evenly between three children’s cups, but did not specify the drink should be nonalcoholic. The bartender did not read the entire ticket due to being extremely busy at the time.

The bartender told police he felt terrible about the error, and, despite being an odd order, “figured it was simply a table of adults who wanted to split the drink.”

Bruenning isn’t sure her children became intoxicated, though her 8-year-old passed out at the park during the fireworks show and her 6-year-old seemed “extra wild.”

While the family has not decided whether to press charges against Chili’s, police believe negligence charges might be possible as the drinks were poured into kid’s cups.

This Chili’s should be in Boca Raton because if they don’t know these kids weren’t of age then I could walk in liked I owned the place ordering shots for the whole bar and not be worried about being one year shy of 21. But how big of a pussy is this 8 year old? I mean I don’t care how shitty a drink was, if my younger siblings are drinking it and not complaining then Im chugging it and asking for seconds. Thats just straight weak sauce dude.

And this bartender is either retarded as fuck or the coolest guy ever. On one hand if he really thought this table of adults wanted to split a weak ass fruit smoothie then he doesn’t have a brain. Not to mention you poured them all in kids cups genius. But on the other hand it was Independence Day, and what better way to teach these kids about the 4th’s tradition then spiking their fruit smoothie and let em get a little buzz. He was just trying to give these kids the fun their lame ass mom couldn’t give them. When I was younger Independence Day was all about BBQ’s, Beach, being hot as fuck all day until the sun went down and you got swarmed by mosquitoes as you watched your drunk uncles and dad light off fireworks in the front yard. Ahh, the good life. But apparently Pam Bruenning hates America and forces her kids to be trapped inside a Chili’s on the 4th. Terrorist mentality. And Pam you honestly think your kids weren’t intoxicated? You described your 6 year old as being extra wild and your pussy ass 8 year old passed out during the fireworks. I dont know if you all had earphones on but fireworks are loud as fuck and only intoxicated people can sleep through them. Your kids were wasted so yes you should press charges and collect the year supply of Jalapeno Poppers that you will probably settle with in court. As for your kids just know they are way ahead of the curb and will probably be stealing your wine coolers when they become old enough stay home alone. Rage on kiddos rage on.

-KBONE